So, i've been 23 for 10 days now, and I think this would be a good time to reflect on being 22. I learned many valuable things over the past year, and here are a bunch of them in no particular order.
1) It is perfectly acceptable for a grown-ass man to play Pokemon, but you might have to pretend you are doing it ironically in front of other people
2) Jet Lag is a Bitch
3) Never wear a backpack on a bus in China, dudes will jack your nintendo DS right in the middle of Phantom Hourglass and you'll spend the rest of the year wondering if they're gonna redesign.
4) You cannot choose your coworkers, so make sure you work someplace with a lot of them. At least that way you get a selection.
5) Never name-drop dudes in your blog, google will get you in trouble.
6) Andrew Ryan isn't just some Giddy Socialite to be Pushed Around by Government Muscle.
7) The fortress of solid dudes is an objectively good name for anything at any age.
8) When you find yourself watching 4 episodes of The Wire a day, move to Tbilisi
9) Contracts ain't shit but hoes an' tricks.
10) It's not like you can just pick up a language in a few months.
11a) If your country can make a product really easily and another country can make a different product really easily and you want both, you should specialize in something and then trade for it.
11b) You can't just overhaul the industry of an entire nation like that, Economics has little bearing on the real world.
12) In fact, economics is like learning physics and saying "ok, lets say there's no air resistance or friction, the earth is flat, and also not spinning".
13) but on the other hand, when you just get started it helps to simplify things a lot.
14) Teaching English is Easy. Just keep talking.
15) Years of pirating music and software can get you a job.
16) Ain't no job as good as you think it is.
17) Italy elected burlesconi again! That shit is CRAY ZAY!
18) Don't Drink and Blog. You'll knock your external hard drive over and it will break kinda.
19) Istanbul is in Europe.
20) It is easy to get a suit custom made in foreign countries.
21) It is possible for me to go 5 lessons without making a video game reference.
22) It is possible for love to bloom... Even on a battlefield.
23) If you can live with someone in the former soviet union without biting out each others throat, then you got a good thing goin' sir.
24) Keep Fulbrighters close, and Peace Corps Volunteers closer.
25) Diablo 2 is all the MMO i'll ever need.
26) Russia is both big and scary
27) Expats are an odd bunch.
28) Good taste is hard to come by.
29) If you are about to take a pie to the face, breathe slowly out your nose. You don't want to be breathing pie IN. That is for eating.
30) Speaking of which: pie will never come out of suede. It will turn your kinda fancy suede boots into jeans wearin' ass-kickin' boots.
31) The ability to use bittorrent will endear you to people.
32) Do not drink enough to get a hangover before you have to go teach.
33) Zubat is the worst pokemon ever.
34) Pleated pants should just be destroyed.
35) Don't laugh too hard in front of other Hashers, even though its all in good fun.
36) Assume everyone reads your blog. In completely unrelated information: Kate is not only a roomate but a friend. :D
37) Walkthroughs are the worst thing to happen to any game.
38) Are you silly but want to look dignified? British Comedy is the way to go! The more obscure the better!
39) Georgians Can't Drive.
40) You are probably simultaniously more mature and not as mature as you think you are.
41) There's never enough of two things: Money or Socks.
42) When you put together an outfit you should think about other things you own.
43) There is a kind of moving meditation in painting miniature soldiers from fictional armies which you will miss when you are abroad.
44) When you leave America you miss all the good video games and maybe that's good for you.
45) Don't agree to be paid in the dollar when it is falling like a sack of ass.
46) Applying for jobs is miserable.
47) There's never enough time.
48) You'll miss your family.
49) Save 10% of every paycheck you get.
50) You're only young once. Get a crazy suit lining if you want.
There, 50's a nice round number.
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3 comments:
I've wondered about moving away from my videogames. While it would suck to miss out on all the sweet games the cool kids are playing, coming back to the country with a stack of a dozen or so AAA titles waiting for you would be like celebrating Christmas on a jet-ski in space.
that shit's the truth like Cyrus from The Warriors.
"CAAAN YOU DIIIIIIIIIIIIIG IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTT?????!!!!"
I find myself using the phrase "fortress of solid dudes" fairly frequently lately.
Here's to your birthday, acquired wisdom, and the solidest of dudes.
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